SOLITUDE: MY ABSOLUTE NECESSITY
Growing up, I had very few friends. Not your kind of friends who you would play with, hangout all the time and visit every weekend. My story was different. I don’t recall anyone I played with or visited over the weekend or during holidays. I spent so much time by myself. I never really understood why it was so hard for me to have as many friends as other people did. I always saw kids playing together, sitting in groups but whenever I took it upon myself to be part of them, I felt overwhelmed and confused because I didn’t really find it fun. I kept growing and learning more about myself and well the journey of self-discovery never ends. I met and made some friends through and while I found that exciting, I always felt the need to give myself time and when I did it was equally amazing.
Maintaining relationships isn’t one of my strengths and I have come to accept it as part of who I am. I blame it on many reasons like my preference to be alone, make my own decisions and also I hate commitments. It feels so much like working on someone’s schedule and living a life that’s not yours. Am so secretive, I tend to hold things inside. Letting people in on my life isn’t something am gifted with but I don’t say I hate it although when it comes to the true meaning of friendship, I question myself if I can ever make a true friend with this trait.
I have grown to learn what makes me tick, what excites me, what irritates me and well what drives me and makes me stronger each day and like the food on my plate, solitude has become my absolute necessity. I love to think and process my thoughts clearly and solitude gives me the energy and space for it. When I am alone, I feel free and happy without drowning in worries of if am giving or getting enough attention.
Solitude helps you to learn more about yourself, appreciate yourself and give yourself the time that you deserve. I prefer to be alone most times because it helps me feel independent and responsible of my own life. I don’t have to identify myself with someone or a group of people for my life to be normal. All I need is to make myself happy because it’s only through my eyes and God’s eyes that I can tell how special I am.
Being alone away from the many voices will open doors to your inner self and you will be able to answer the many questions you have deep in your heart. You will have time to reflect on yourself and to do the things you love and of course you will have time for your heart with God. Many times when one is alone, chances are high that they will most probably reflect on their relationship with God.
One thing I tell myself every day is that I don’t have to be someone I am not and I don’t have to be like everyone else and I see the positivity and benefits of this whenever I am alone. I am not concerned with what other people think of me as long as am happy and after all I always comes down to you. If you feel the need to be alone, go for it and embrace yourself, I promise you it will be worth it.
JUST_PAJEH in SOLITUDE by Me OWEMBABAZI PAGET e.t.c