Am not sure if you know that feeling, the feeling of uncertainty, confusion mixed with a little bit of sadness…actually not a little, just sadness. It’s actually not a feeling but mixed emotions and not anything nice. When you feel like the whole world is staring back at you. All your plans, your dreams and how you expected your day to unfold just feels different. You can’t figure out anything because there’s that one thing that has locked you out of your own world. One thing takes away your happiness, your joy and your hope.
We face different situations each day, we fight wars, battles… some even physical. One day you can’t face your best friend because of mere mistake, then another you can’t stand your neighbor because they poke too much in your business. You go at war with your family because of very simple conflicts. Someone pisses you off and you punch them in the face. All these and more are battles that even when they could go on for years, we are capable of facing them and moving on. We can even just ignore them and pretend that we don’t care.
However, there are wars we face alone. Battles we go for only in our heads. Not because we don’t want to share whatever it is that’s bothering us but just because they are just wars contemplating our own worlds, battles we fight with our very own selves…facing your decisions in the past, your ,mistakes of yesterday, what you could have done better but didn’t, what you wish you had done or not done. I call them the unseen wars. You smile on the outside while your brain is getting fried. Your own heart aches as you comfort other people and see them through their own worries.
The unseen wars are hard to explain to anyone because you can never be sure what people will say about you. You ask yourself what they will think of you. You end up subjecting yourself to pain, you torture your own heart and keep looking out for when the sun shines again. You live as you die. You feed but you continue to hunger and thirst for what could save you from the walls around you. But the wait is never easy. The nights and days get longer and if you are not careful, you could end up losing yourself.
I believe there is always a way out of any situation even for the wars deep within our souls. You can avoid the depression, stop torturing yourself and create a way out for the light to shine through even when you feel like darkness has filled your world. When you look around and feel like you will never be what you were again, like you will never be who you wanted to be or that all your dreams have been crushed…just know that there’s always a way out of any situation. You just need to find it.
When you are facing a battle within, your role is not to just sit and watch yourself get crushed. it is not to just sit and wait for when things will get better and it definitely it is not to lie back and pity yourself.
Your role is to fight back. Fight your own demons because no one knows them better than you and obviously it is only you that could ever manage to tame them. Don’t ignore the voices telling to search for help, don’t ignore the people who are trying to help you out and don’t ignore your own strength cause you know from NIGHTS THAT LAST FOR DAYS that, “the hardest metal is forged in the hottest fire.” Don’t spike your own soul, don’t break your very own heart. Don’t be the one that lets you down. Be the one that lifts you up. Be your own hero of you can. Get your self out of that box. Flee yourself from the war. Find yourself. If you can, let other people in so you don’t feel alone. Fight the unseen with all the strength you have because they might be invisible to the outside world but they are visible to you.
“They are within to destroy you, but you can let them out and destroy them.”